We can not manage or lead others if we can not manage or lead ourselves first.  If this statement sounds familiar to you, then, probably, this topic is not for you, especially if you are a management graduate of Harvard, Asian Institute of Management, La Salle or Ateneo.  But, if you think you need to know more about the self, the soul or spirit in relation and in addition to your existing management training, knowledge and skills, then, this is for you.

For better understanding of the self for my own purpose and for the purpose of this presentation, I am defining and redefining the meaning of the word “self” using a simple acronym.

S stands for a stable, sweet and simple soul.
E stands for an enthusiastic, energetic and egoless being.
L stands for a living, loving and life-giving spirit.
F stands for a fearless, fair, firm and forgiving person.

The soul, the, being, the spirit and the person or the self are one and the same.  When we make references, we sometimes use them interchangeably and God, Himself, allows us also as His children, to use them whenever we refer to Him aside from being God, the Father as the Supreme Soul, Supreme Being or Supreme Spirit.  These are now the images, characteristics and qualities which I visualize and relate with when somebody tells me that we are all created in His image and likeness.

The Soul or the Self
We all know that there is a soul.  What we do not know is what exactly it is.  When somebody dies, we pray that his or her soul goes in heaven as we say “sumalangit nawa and kanyang kaluluwa.  So, we definitely and we all agree that there is a soul.  But again, we do not know where exactly it is.  Some say that it is the body which they say is the temple of the spirit or of the soul and therefore, it is inside their bodies, but where exactly inside, they do not know.  Others claim that it is in their hearts and they do not want to undergo heart transplant for fear that they might lose their soul.  Most of us say that “the eyes are the windows of the soul”, so, it is probably located at the center of our foreheads.

Based on my very limited knowledge, the soul is said to be an eternal and immortal tiny point of light.  It is also a metaphysical, infinitesimal and sentient energy and is believed to be located at the center of the brain in between the hypothalamus, the pituitary gland and the pineal body.  At the surface, it is located in the forehead, in between the eyebrows and anatomically, it is able to control all the functions of the body through the nervous and endocrine systems.

The soul which sometimes referred to as the consciousness or the self has three (3) different, distinct but interdependent faculties. 

1. The Mind or the Emotional Self which feels, wishes and experiences can be compared to the monitor of our computers, visualizes images and projects mental pictures of people, places and events creating super fast and potent mental energy that defies time and space.

2. The Intellect or the Rational Self interprets what the mind visualizes and projects and can be compared to the keyboard of our computers.  The intellect has the innate powers to discriminate, discern and decide what to do with all the information supplied by the mind and it can either delete or save this information.

3. The Memory or the Psychological Self, which people from the East call Sanskars, and can be compared to the Cental Processing Unit of our computers or CPU, stores, all the saved information in the form of habits, tendencies, inclinations, traits and attributes.  When a person recalls a situation or experiences an event, this particular situation or event is transmitted and picked up by the mind and the process repeats.

What I mentioned above is definitely incomplete but at least I tried because I wanted you to have a better understanding of the self.  This gives me also enough reason to request you to get the copies of your telephone directories, call and visit the Brahma Kumaris centers in your cities and learn more about the soul which is basically one of its main teachings.  I did several times and I benefited a lot.  Try it. 

There is nothing to lose but everything to gain.  It is free, anyway.  There are, absolutely, no pressures, no obligation and no imposition, only addition to your existing knowledge.  You have nothing to be afraid of because they will not change your Religion, faith or belief systems.  They will just show to you their slogan “as we change… the world changes”.

Know Thyself
Our original qualities are peace, love, happiness, purity and detachment.

Self Awareness – I must always be fully aware of my true identity as a spiritual being, a soul, a pure, happy and peaceful soul.  I must put a full stop now in thinking and considering myself as human, made of matter, flesh, bones and blood and that God created me to be happy and peaceful and not to experience pain and sorrow here on earth in my lifetime.

Self Realization – I must realize that each and very human inhabitant of this world is also a spiritual being, a soul, exactly like me and God, the Supreme Father, the Supreme Soul and therefore, they are all my brothers and we are all children of the one Father, God, thus, I should treat and relate with all of them as such.

Self Respect – I must respect myself first and do my best to be good to gain the trust and respect of others without expecting and/or imposing it from or to them.  If other people will not trust and respect me, I should not take it against them by getting angry with them.  What I need to do is to make sure that I still honestly and sincerely trust and respect myself and if I do, God will surely trust and respect me also.
 
Self Esteem – I must always keep in my mind that if I have a high regard and respect for myself, my self esteem will also be high and therefore, I do not need to depend on others for it.  Likewise, I must always be aware that the main foundation of self esteem is self respect.

Self Confidence – If I am fully aware of my true identity and that of others as souls and spiritual beings.  I retain my understanding and maintain my full realization that we are all souls, brothers and children of the one Father, God.  As a result of this awareness, my self respect and self esteem will be high and with all these beautiful realizations, I will certainly have the much needed confidence in myself to succeed and be happy in life.

Most of our graduates, especially, those from the provinces, lack self confidence and this stifles, blocks and prevents them from succeeding in their chosen careers.  If I will only remember during an interview that I am a soul and my interviewer is also a soul like me, then, I will be more stable in this awareness, I will not feel inferior to my interviewer and if this thought will give me the much needed confidence, I will definitely pass the interview, get the position and the job and pave the road for my material success and the path for my spiritual victory.  Share this with you children and loved ones.  It might help them succeed.  To emphasize the importance of these five (5) subjects, I just copy pasted this from Anger Management topic and included it in this topic as a refresher.

Self Mastery 
1. You can’t and you can never give what you don’t have.
2. You can’t manage yourself or lead others, if you can’t manage or lead yourself first.
3. As the aim, so as the action.
4. As the consciousness, so as the experience.
5. Walk the walk and talk the talk.

Let’s do it. Yes, we can.  Do you still remember these powerful slogans?  So powerful that they both require strong and powerful leaders and leadership style, otherwise, if our followers see that we do not embody these slogans, they will just say “you do it” or “yes, we can, but you can’t”.

If we do not have the aim and consciousness of what we want and plan to do, we can not do it and if we can not do it, we will not be able to experience it and become the embodiment or model of the same.  If we want to be the masters of the self, we should muster enough courage to do first what we want others to do.  If our subordinates or followers see this in us, we will become more credible and believable to them and they will trust and respect us and follow us in the process.

Spiritual Awareness
We are supposed to be masters to ourselves.  We can not give and we can never give that what we do not have.  Therefore, we cannot love others if we do not love ourselves nor we can say to somebody, don’t worry, I will take care you or will I will make you happy if we can not even take care of ourselves or there are traces of sorrow in our faces.  Otherwise, if we continue doing these, they will merely become lip service.

Self or Soul Consciousness
We are all supposed to be human beings not just human “doings”.  Sometimes, we are attached to all our attainments and achievements in life and we start to lose our focus to who we really are as spiritual beings because we already identified ourselves with and we are overwhelmed by all of our successes, achievements and attainments in life.

Some of my friends, who know my humble beginnings, tell me that I have already attained and achieved everything I have wanted in my life and that I am a very successful person.  What they do not know that behind all of these were the challenges, the pressures, the tears, the pains and sorrows I experienced in the process which sometimes made me angry because I did not know then how to manage myself including my attainments and achievements.  Some people do not even know how to manage their own success.

Body Consciousness
We are all supposed to be souls inside our bodies, not just bodies with souls. We cannot manage or lead others if we can not manage or lead ourselves first. We take pride in ourselves of being good leaders outside, especially, within the premises of the corporate world, but we cannot even lead ourselves and our family in the right path towards social and spiritual development inside our very own homes.  Are we really managers and leaders?

We are trying to prove ourselves to others because we cannot prove ourselves from within.  Sometimes, we are too conscious of our physical appearance and material possessions that when they are threatened or attacked, we act and react negatively, lose our positive stage and get angry.  This is simply body consciousness at work and in action.

The 8 Powers
A leader is one who gained mastery over one’s self.  The energy of our consciousness is one’s personal and spiritual power. To master that power means to use this power to shape our perceptions and responses to people and the world around us.

1. Power to Withdraw (Listening) – It is our ability to disengage from external world and become a detached observer.  Whenever we are confronted by a person or with very challenging situations and conditions, we have the tendency to immediately act and react and are quick to judge the person or the situation.  We also easily assume what others are saying on the basis of the very first impression, or perception coloured by our own opinions, feelings and emotions.

Irritation, stress, loneliness, peacelessness and instability become our common experience and constant companions. The first challenge of self-mastery is to restore our calmness and find our internal focus. Let us leave our senses behind for a few moments and take time to reflect and be quiet. Observe our reactions to the external influences and stimuli. We should always remember that observing is always better than absorbing.

For as long as we have allowed ourselves to be influenced by others and be shaped by the external world around us, we will always experience loss of well-being and strained relationship. If we are not the masters of our senses and of all the incoming stimuli, then, we will be their slave and when we become slaves, we easily lose our own identity, our focus and purpose in life.

The Xerox Syndrome
Whenever I share this subject, I would normally ask the young participants as to who they would rather be, the good version of themselves or the best version of others, and they will overwhelmingly reply that they would prefer to be the good version of themselves.  We lost our Filipino identity to all our conquerors.  There are only few legitimate Filipinos.  There are only Filipino Americans, Filipino Canadians, Filipino Australians, Filipino Italians, Filipino-Chino, Filipino Koreano, Filipino Cebuano, Filipino Ilongo, Filipino Ilocano, Filipino Bicolano.

If we have lost our true identity as spiritual beings, we should not be surprised if we will also easily and conveniently lose our identity as Filipinos.  If all Religions in the world have already lost their powers to unite their followers in particular and humanity in general, we can not expect the people of a very small Christian dominated nation like the Philippines to unite geographically, socially and spiritually because our mindset is cast and separated.

2. The Power to Pack up (Availability) – It is our ability to stop wasteful thinking and be present in the Here and Now.  The power to pack up is simply the ability to control our own MTV’s, Memories, Thoughts and Visions which are the functions of the mind and the intellect… the heart and soul of our consciousness.

When the Intellect, our ever-inquiring, examining, analytical partner and friend asks us why, help it to understand that the understanding it seeks only comes when it listens and observes.  Invite it to relax and just watch everything like a detached observer.  Learn to pack up even for a few minutes.  See how this will help us become more available for more important tasks which we have to attend to.

Normally, our mind is capable of processing more than 32,000 to 64,000 Thoughts a day.  Likewise, it also keeps itself very busy in entertaining more than 3,000 Memories of the past and Visions of the future combined, in which, in both cases, so much energy is dissipated and wasted for nothing.  Let us encourage our mind to take a break and time out for a holiday or vacation. Shut down the production line for some time and allow it to rest.  Meditate, reflect, contemplate and pray in silence and your mind will definitely restore its calmness and recover all its powers.

Wasteful Thoughts
1. Compulsive
2. Depressive
3. Negative
4. Obsessive
5. Reactive
6. Repressive
7. Speculative
8. Unproductive

Try observing yourselves everyday.  If you are using or entertaining in your minds these eight (8) wasteful and good for nothing thoughts, consciously and unconsciously in one whole day and if you feel very tired when you reach home and before retiring to bed, that means, you failed to manage yourselves and your thoughts and if you are in this situation, do not expect that you can manage and lead you people well.

If you keep entertaining these thoughts frequently, they will eat you up and sap your energy and eventually, everything becomes stressful for you until you have colds and fever. Then, my company, Prosel Pharma., Inc. will be happy because you will be required by your company physicians to take our brand of Vitamin C.  Good for us and bad for you.  So, please manage your thoughts and we will just manage our sales.  We do not need your money anyway.

Productive Thoughts
1. Creative
2. Imaginative
3. Positive
4. Transformative

Now, try these four (4) productive thoughts in one day also.  Compared with wasteful thoughts, you will only spend or saved half the time, effort and energy while getting full results and complete feelings of fulfilment.  You will also go home more relaxed and have more quality time with your spouse, children, brothers and sisters, you can sleep well and wake up in the morning with a better sense of well being ready, excited and enthusiastic to go back to work or school.

Thought Power
If there is purity in thoughts, there is reality in words and if there is reality in words, there is royalty in actions.

We should always remember that purity is the foundation of spirituality.  If our thoughts, words and actions are pure, then, we will be able to develop pure relationship and connection.  You can just imagine how beautiful it would be if the pure atmosphere in your work and at your workplace brings the highest of degree or level of friendship and camaraderie, creating peaceful working environment and relationship and attracting more blessings in the form of good sales and respectable profit for your employers and for you, then, everybody will be happy.

Internal Struggle
I would, if I could… but I can’t.

When we are struggling with something or with someone, it creates confusions and doubts in our minds and if this happens, our ability to discriminate, discern and decide is also compromised putting in peril or at risk our capability to handle effectively our people and their concerns efficiently.  Again, we are not just risking our ability and capability as managers but most of all, our credibility as leaders.  This internal conflict stifles or blocks our capacity to explore all possibilities which can improve our relationship with other people.

3. Power to Tolerate (Adaptability) - the ability not to be affected by external/internal events and by responding to them positively.  As leaders, we have to handle many different situations simultaneously, accept considerable feedback, take major decisions and take criticism the same way when we receive praises. 
   
Tolerance means inner strength and inner power. It is also the ability to work in very demanding situations, when there is lot of turbulence and high pressure and to give one’s best up to the very end.  It is going beyond praise and recognition, insult and criticism. This is where we can benefit most when we practice the value of balance as discussed in Anger Management.

Tolerance is also necessary when we fully engage with those situations and people who say and do things, which stimulate our old and buried memories and emotions.  We can only do this if we can transform our actions and reactions and that is to be able to tolerate the actions of others by accepting their not so good or negative energy and then returning a higher quality of energy back to them. 

This is always my biggest challenge in managing my self and leading our managers and employees.  Sometimes, I become very impatient if our people can not understand simple instructions forgetting that what is simple to me may be complicated for them.  This happens because I failed to appreciate their uniqueness as human beings with spirits and souls.  I have this tendency to think that they are as good as I am or even better.  Again, I forgot that they are in that position and I am in my present position, otherwise, if they are what and where I expect them to be, the situation could turn the other way around.  They will be in mine and I will be in theirs.

First, we have to be detached from the thoughts and feelings accompanying our reactions.  The tree is the best symbol of tolerance.  It gives shadow even to the woodcutter.  As we lose our tolerance power, so as our position and stand.  Others will not follow us anymore.  We let our utmost sense of humility to mould and shape us allowing a situation to develop naturally like a bamboo tree, bends in the storm but does not break, so strong but flexible enough to rise again when the storm is over. Adaptability means Integrity.

4. Power to Adjust (Flexibility) - The ability to expand and accept the presence, ideas and desires of others.  Softness, flexibility and ability to adapt are qualities that help us reach our goals.  A river finds its way through the landscapes and reaches the ocean.  Similarly, flexibility is our ability to adjust with ease to so many personalities, conditions and situations we face everyday.  In meetings and conferences, the mere presence of people in front of us is more important than their ideas and opinions.

It is humility that enables us to give way to others, to accept and work with their ideas.  It is also humility that allows them to make demands on us without losing our individuality, integrity and self-respect.  Humility creates flexibility in us allowing us to face our daily challenges in life and our relationship with other people becomes very light and easy, a situation totally appreciated by, acceptable to and applicable in our family, personal and corporate organizational set up.

Flexibility requires the highest sense of humility and highest level of acceptability. Discipline needs also be balanced with flexibility both at home and at workplace with our children and employees.  As discussed in parenting topic, if there are house rules at home, there are also policies, rules and regulations at the office, ordinances at city and provincial halls, bills to be passed at Congress and laws in the land.  In all of these places, we need to be strict in our implementation but flexible in our approach.

5. Power to Discern (Discrimination) - The ability to discern the subtle and separate what is true from what is false.  It is also the ability to discriminate right from wrong, truth from falsehood, reality from illusion, benefit from harm is absolutely crucial for each one of us who is deciding and leading the way for others to follow.  It is seeing with the inner eye and this is only possible when there is full understanding of the universal laws and principles which govern the human life.  This principle is called Karma and you may refer to one of my topics here in this website entitled The AlphaNumeric Principle. 

Our inner ability to discriminate enables us to journey through life with the least mistakes and clear paths.  If we lack discrimination power and choose the wrong path, the consequences hit hard.  One who is a master of oneself knows exactly where he/she is going and seldom makes the same mistake more than twice because he or she knows that insanity means doing the same wrong thing over and over again expecting and experiencing the same results without learning from the mistakes made.  With this definition, insanity is still different and distinct from merely stubborn.

6. Power to Judge (Decision-making) - The ability to assess the quality of choices, decisions and actions in ourselves and in others. If we have to judge, let’s do it for rightness or quality, for ethics or values, for innate goodness and beauty of the person or a thing because we believe that we are constant and dynamic learners who seek continually to learn from others. Let us judge the situation so that we may be able to see the correct response we need to create and express.

The power of decision-making is not only to discriminate between right or wrong, but also to judge which of the several options would be the best choice.  It is a tool for attaining refinement and perfection. To choose is often difficult as it means to leave and renounce other options.  Decisions often have to be made on the spot and therefore our power to judge needs to be very, very clear. Take a stand and decide. 

Take the risk and decide because only time can tell whether the decision we make is right or wrong.  What makes the act of making decision wrong is when we decide not to make the decision at the time when and/or at the place where it is needed most.  We must be aware of the consequence if we delay our decision.  It could mean our own lives and limbs or even of those who are very dear to us.

7. Power to Face (Responsibility) - The ability to confront and resolve external and internal obstacles, tests and challenges.  It is the ability to take responsibility for one’s decisions and their consequences. Change and chaos are travelling companions and there is no other time to deal with them but the present.  The mantra of a leader is just to face them and face them now as he or she knows that the consequence of delay may be very critical and expensive.

A leader carries the main responsibility he/she has to face and dare to see things as they are and as they appear.  Therefore, this ability is also the same as courage.  He or she needs courage to face the effects of his or her own decisions and mistakes.  Courage comes from the heart and from the position of power and authority. The root word of courage is “cor”, which means heart, as in coronary disease.

A leader has to be trustworthy and responsible.  It means that if people are involved in the process of making decisions, therefore, they must also take responsibility. We will all experience obstacles, tests and challenges on the way and we need the ability to face them. Let us see the lessons to be learned and then move on.  The true leader in us sees no problems, only great opportunities to learn from, to grow and to help others in the process.

8. Power to Cooperate (Team Spirit) - The ability to give our full attention, time, experience and wisdom in the service of others.  A leader needs to be able to inspire cooperation in others and can only do that when he/she is able to cooperate well with others.  We should always remember that cooperation begets cooperation. 

Team Spirit means that people are strongly connected in the same value system. It is a power which is able to make huge task easy and enjoyable as well.  It is the fabric of unity and the song of harmony which leads us together to success.  To accept, acknowledge and appreciate another is to cooperate with their journey, thus, providing the fuel of encouragement.

A constantly positive attitude regardless of the size of the perceived disaster is the inspiration of uplifting cooperation.  As simple as seeing somebody’s best qualities and not their weaknesses is a noble act of cooperation.  Offering prayers, sending good wishes and powerful thoughts towards success of another is a subtle, invisible but very priceless form of cooperation.  The generous sparkling of good feelings when a friend or foe is down and defeated is selfless cooperation. 

If corporation inspires cooperation, it will create a space to learn and it will become a place for personal growth and development. Its primary purpose and motivation will be more for learning and not merely for earning.

Take it against the issue, not against the tissue

This simply means that when we you confront a person or have a fight with someone especially those who are very close to us like our spouses, children, relatives and co-workers, we should not lose our focus on the main issue of our heated discussions so that we will not have any biases against the person.  Always consider ourselves and the person as souls, who, at that particular moment, both of us are experiencing some problems which are not really related to the issue itself.

Love in Leadership
Love is not just an emotion felt between people of or things of value in their lives. Rather, it is a source of inner strength. It is the energy of the soul. It is allows us to operate from our own truth to act honestly with natural kindness, from which everything can blossom.

I always emphasize this to our employees. I tell them to live with their own truth and not with the truth of other people. Self love is a critical component of a good leadership. It allows good leaders to identify with their core values and principles for which their vision and passion can be brought into life. One needs to truly understand one’s self and to see one’s self in a realistic way, in order to live authentically. It takes courage to face our fears, to accept and forgive ourselves and others and then move over and beyond it.

Power over others is “authority”, but power over the self is “wisdom“ 

In our world where guns, gold and goons rule and in our Government, corporate and social systems where positions and possessions prevail, the true meaning of the word wisdom has been raped and cannibalized by making it synonymous and interchangeable with authority. The poor, subservient and insensitive people were marked and mocked as lazy and bunch of leeches by some people who wield religious, military and political powers and whose financial might is beyond question giving them the authority to freely do what they want.

We are now living in a world where wisdom belongs only to the intellectuals and scientists and authority to those who have all the money to build weapons of mass destructions in the guise of protecting their own people at the expense of those countries who can not even afford to build their own nuclear power plants which is the original design and purpose of this beautiful gift from nature.  This is a very good physical manifestation on how people of highest authority successfully managed their resources but failed miserably in leading themselves.

A good leader is one who has self respect.  But a great leader is one who creates self respect in others. To make yourself and others happy is the best policy and to make yourself and others peaceful is the beast principle.     
 
Disclaimer:
This presentation is based on my own interpretation and experiences and does not reflect that of my sources of materials and information.

Sources of materials and inspirations:
Brahma Kumaris including its books, tapes, DVD’s, CD’s, etc.
Brahma Kumaris Teachers and Students
Self Managing Leadership
Mike George
Purity Magazine